What humans ate was once just a matter of survival. Somehow we have evolved to the point where what we eat is a statement of who we are. And it’s the proud vegans in one corner claiming ‘beetroot burgers are the bomb!’ with purple juice dribbling down their chin and in the other corner beating their chest are the proud meat eaters yelling “Eat a cow ya hippy!” with blood dribbling from theirs. ‘… said the butcher to the cow’ is an unbridled advocate for the latter.
This place is trying to tell you something every which way you look. Wrapped up in a highly stylized concept of ‘obey the food chain’ – right down to the butcher-like leather aprons on the waitresses to the ceramic pig hooves and ears protruding from the wall, the slaughterhouse cage-like entrance, or the coat hooks resembling meat hooks.
You can’t help but feel that this place is sticking it’s tongue out to the trend wave of vegan and vegetarian places sprouting up around town. this place is the arch nemesis of the vegan.
And while the personality of the place aims to tap into our primal, wild carnivorous urges, diners civilly and obliviously work away on their burgers with a knife and fork on paper placemats, with the sign blazing on the wall above them – ‘your life made my day.’
Gin, burgers and cheesecake are pretty much the only thing on offer here, however the different variations of each are plentiful.
The burgers look like they’re a whole dish served up between a sesame seed bun, with each stuffed full with an original collection of ingredients for a burger. Wrapping my hands around mine – the Surf and Turf – I attempt to take a bite, but fail. It’s too big so I give into to the knife and fork. The patty is perfectly grilled and topped with sizeable prawns, spinach and a sweet chilli sauce. And who thought a black sesame seed roll could lend such a pleasant subtle flavor to a burger. The simple concept of a beef patty in a bun has no place here. My over eager taste buds have me devouring the fancy obese burger within minutes. I leave the sides behind however – the polenta sticks … well, let’s just say if they were put up in a tasting competition with the alternative of licking the bathroom sink after shaving, the latter would win. (stick to meat butcher boy) The bland steak fries are out of place alongside the babe of a burger. However, take it from an avid cheesecake fan – the Karremell-Fleur de sel Cheesecake is worth finding room for once you’ve slaughtered your burger.
The sink-in-to couches out front and the smart looking bar makes also a relaxed scene for a drink. Especially if Gin is your poison. An extensive library of the crystal clear liquid sophistication is behind the bar. As with everything in the menu, creativity has come together with alcohol to produce some interesting cocktails and long drinks (involves lemongrass, grapefruit, olives and such things). Try the ‘Butchers wife on holidays’ cocktail.
Similar places are plentiful in cities like New York and London, but … said the butcher said to the cow sticks out in Vienna like a half-naked mustached man lifting a dumbbell over his head. We thoroughly enjoyed the tongue-in-cheek flavor of the place.
Carnivores – you won’t be disappointed. Oh, and be sure to ask the person next to you if they like seafood.
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