VW: What was your life like when you still lived in Kashmir?
J: My life was good. I have a wonderful family and we had a good standard of living. I have a Bachelor in Social Sciences and I was doing my Master of Business Development. But I could only finish one semester, then suddenly I had a problem and had to leave my country.
VW: Do you mind telling us why you had to leave your country?
J: Well, Kashmir is in the middle of a conflict between India and Pakistan. Both countries say Kashmir belongs to them, but we the Kashmiri people want Kashmir to be free. I was a political activist in Kashmir and I was – I still am – a member of the student organisation JKNSF (Jammu Kashmir National Student Federation). We raised our voice against injustices and talked openly about the discrimination the Kashmiri people are facing. And that is why the Pakistani secret agency, ISI, had a problem with me. That is why I had to flee.
VW: How long did your journey to Austria take?
J: About a year. First I crossed over to Pakistan, then Iran, Turkey, Greece, Macedonia, Serbia and then finally Hungary. (pauses) And then Austria.
VW: What are your memories of that journey?
J: There were no good experiences, none at all. You risk your life. There is a 50% chance you will come here, and a 50% chance you will die on the way. The army, the sea, the boat. You go by foot, you don’t have proper food or health checking. You don’t have anything that compares to a regular living situation. No eating, no sleeping. It was a really bad time.
VW: You mentioned taking the boat.
J: Yes, to cross the border between Turkey and Greece. This was very dangerous. You know the pictures of Lampedusa? The journeys are always like that. They are putting 50, even 100 people into a really small boat. I thought there was a 100% chance that it would sink into the sea.
VW: And thinking this, you still got onto the boat?
J: This is a time in your life, where you don’t have a choice. If there were any other options, of course you wouldn’t do it. But if you only have one option … What else can you do?
VW: Was it your original plan to come to Austria?
J: No, I actually wanted to go to Denmark. But I came here and got stuck in Austria. (laughs)
VW: What did you think Europe would be like?
J: I didn’t really think so much about it – I had to leave because of an emergency. But when I left, I imagined I would be able to continue my studies and just live a normal life.
VW: What happened when you arrived here?
J: I had heard good things about Europe in my country: That it is very peaceful, that the people are living in a good way and that there aren’t any problems. But when you come here, it is different. You can’t imagine the situation: They are putting you in a camp and you have to stay there for years without being able to do anything. No studying, no learning, no working. Nothing. Just waiting for your case to be decided. It was really the opposite of what I had expected.
VW: Would you do it again?
J: When I was in the Asylum Center in Upper Austria I thought it would be better for me to die. The situation was really horrible. I asked myself why I had come here. I was thinking maybe it would have been better if the ISI had arrested and killed me. Then everything would be over, no more problems in life. Then again, the possibility of deportation is like having the sword of Damocles hanging over you.
VW: What is life like as a refugee?
J: I don’t know. My life in Kashmir was not bad. And then I came here and oh my god, this was a really terrible time of my life. For the first year I was staying in Thalham in Upper Austria. There, I wasn’t able to do anything. Absolutely nothing. The year before, back in my country, I was super busy, going to University, having a life, working. And suddenly you are stuck in one place, just thinking and thinking. This is not normal. So when I heard of the protest going on in Vienna, I left that place. (Editor’s note: Jahangir was part of a refugee protest movement that was formed in 2012.) Because of the protest my situation is totally different than those of other refugees. If you are just a normal refugee then, believe me, your life is hell. I saw the people who have been here for five, six years. People got crazy. They got traumas from thinking too much, having too many bad thoughts. When I was in Upper Austria I also thought I was going crazy. I asked the head lady of the camp to give me some work. I told her I didn’t want any money for it, I just wanted to busy myself somehow. If you are busy you don’t have to think all the time and at least you are doing something. I just wanted to engage myself.
VW: How are you feeling now?
J: In 2014 I decided to stop thinking. I had gotten really weak, also physically, and that was not good. So I decided to stop worrying. I can’t change my future, I can’t change tomorrow. Everything just happens. But at least I am very motivated. If I have an aim, I really put my energy towards it. I will never have to tell myself: Jahangir, you didn’t even try. At least I tried. There is a quote – you can’t fix your past, but you can make yourself a better future.
VW: You told me that your situation has changed over the last year: You are about to start a job, you are taking German classes. What are your plans for the future?
J: I have the same dreams as everyone. I want to be successful. I really want to be part of the Austrian society and I want to be a professional German speaker. (laughs)
VW: Do you see your life here in Austria?
J: You see, if you have legal papers, Austria is a very good country to live in. Especially Vienna. But if you are here just waiting for a decision over your life, then it’s horrible. Two years ago, I didn’t want to stay in Austria. I didn’t see any future for me back then. But now that I have a Geneva Convention Passport, things are very different. Now I feel like I have everything. Now I want to stay.
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