If these 13 Vienna statues could talk, here’s what they would say

1.

‘THIS is how you pose for a selfie, people! … amateurs.’

2.

‘The next person who mistakes me for Mozart, will get this violin shoved up their X@!#
I mean, seriously, you think he could have pulled off such a classy moustachey?!’

3.

Woman statue on right: ‘Ahhh, how good is that moment when you finally get to take off your bra.’

Woman statue on left: ‘I hear you girl! And with such firm breasts as ours, who needs them!’

4.

‘Did you even notice I have butterfly wings, or were you too busy staring down my cleavage? You perv!’

5.

‘Onwards! This way, to the closest Würstelstand where we shall conquer a Käsekrainer!’

6.

‘Beyoncé was right, we do run the world… ‘
‘Who run the world? Girls!’

7.

‘Just think about who I watch go in and out of Parliament every day, and then ask me again why I look so miserable.’

8.

‘The irony – one of the biggest brains in the history of thinkers, but one of the smallest heads in the history of statues!’

9.

‘What was that? Call me Napoleon one more time, I dare you! Ignorant f**ers!’

10.

‘I know this isn’t a good time, but you could really use a mint, man!’

11.

‘Paint me like one of your French girls.’

12.

‘They were out of horses… ‘

13.

‘Can I get a WOOP! WOOP!’