11 Scenarios in Viennese Öffis you have already witnessed

The English speaking magazine. Making the most out of Vienna and life.

11 scenarios everybody taking the Öffis in Vienna has witnessed

Liebe Fahrgäste, sie verzögern die Abfahrt

Translation: Dear passengers, you’re delaying the departure, YOU MONSTERS! Your tram/U-Bahn/bus could be on time, but you are single handedly throwing off the greatest public transportation system in the world because your bag is stuck in the door. UGG!!

Liebe Fahrgäste, sie blockieren den Türbereich

Translation: Dear passengers, you are blocking the doors. But seriously, what is so hard in about standing away from the doors, so others can embark and disembark?

© Taras Kasich | Unsplash

Stau in Zufahrt

Translation: traffic jam on the rails. We are also not entirely sure what this means as it could either be a real traffic jam or some jerk parking so badly that the tram can’t pass. All we know is that it means your tram is going to be late as hell.

Steigen Sie nicht mehr ein 

Translation: Don’t enter any more (as this train car is about to leave). But let’s be honest, we have all risked our lives more than once trying to dive between the closing doors of an U-Bahn train after those infamous last words and threw a tantrum because it still left without us.

Sonderzug, bitte nicht einsteigen

Translation: special train, please do not board. That feeling when you start the sprint of your life to still catch the approaching U-Bahn, only to realize it’s not even stopping in your station. Oida!

© Martin Katler | Unsplash

Vorsicht, Schwarzkappler

Translation: Caution, ticket controllers in the Öffis. The Viennese call their ticket controllers “Schwarzkappler”, as they used to wear black caps in the past. Today, they are mostly recognized by their black shoulder bags, but uhm, we would of course never enter the Öffis without a valid ticket, obviously.

Oida, des is ja a Sauna.

Translation: Damn, this feels like a Sauna. Your usual scenario when you take one of the old red bims in summer OR a U6 train without AC OR one of the old U-Bahnen. Puuh! Well, don’t mind us. We’ll just be over here sweating our asses off.

Heast, schleich di

Intended translation: Please, can you kindly go out of my way, so I can disembark this train? But added with your healthy dose of Wiener Grant, oh well.

© Moritz Mairinger | Unsplash

Na mir is wurscht, lasst euch Zeit, i bin eh scho in der Orbeit

Translation: I don’t care, take your time, I’m already at work. We love the humorous and sarcastic statements some Öffi drivers drop here. Vienna, only you!

Der Zug ist kein Adventskalender. Sie dürfen alle Türen benutzen

Translation: This train is not an advent calendar, you are allowed to use all doors. Our Öffi drivers even bring you in festive spirits when holidays like Christmas approach, we love it.

Last, but not least: getting to know Gerti’s marriage problems

We’ve all been there. We just want to get home after a busy day while minding our business, and then some random individual, let’s just name this individual Gerti, drops the juiciest details about her private life in an enormous volume right next to us while on the phone. Oh Gerti, why?

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