So we asked Vienna-based yogi, @papa.joe.965, to teach us a couple of yoga poses that will fill us with Zen this stressful holiday season:
1. The ‘geh scheissen’ (go to hell) tree pose
Try doing this one after a couple of Punsch.
2. The ‘can’t (Hand)stand you ‘Zunge zeigen’ (tongue out)’ pose
Be sure to bend that tongue!
3. The ‘downward dog flipping the bird’ pose
Begin this position in the Downward dog pose and when you feel the strain on your neck (caused by your Tante Thelma asking you again when you’re going to get married and telling you you’re body clock is ticking) stretch out your arm and that middle finger in a stabbing kind of fashion.
4. The ‘I’m going Namascraycray eye roll’ pose
This one is 50% Namaste, and 50% getmethefuckouttahere
5. The ‘I wish I was back in my mother’s womb’ screaming pose
This one is usually followed by making yourself into a ball and rocking back and forth in the corner of a room.