13 things Viennese waiters simply can't hear anymore after almost a month since the reopening - Vienna Würstelstand

The English speaking magazine. Making the most out of Vienna and life.

13 things Viennese waiters simply can’t hear anymore after almost a month since the reopening

1. ‘Well, this is the new normal, right?’

© Vienna Würstelstand

They know. We know. We’ve been saying it for atleast a year now. If there’s nothing one can do to change it, one must not comment on it.

2. ‘You’re not really closing at 10pm/12pm, are you?’

Yes, they are, as long as the government tells them to. Risking a fine just isn’t worth serving our buzzed selves the 5th Spritzer.

3. ‘Do you think we’ll have another lockdown this year?’

© Vienna Würstelstand | David Schneider

Their crystal ball works just as well as ours does. Meaning, how the hell should they know.

4. ‘What do you mean I’m not allowed to enter without a test/ vaccination passport? I’m healthy.’

As we all know, one cannot tell if a person has ‘Roni by just looking at them. Waiters and waitresses are simply following the rules set by the government so, hopefully, they can stay open and keep doing their jobs.

5. ‘Does a picture of the test I took this morning at home count too?’

© Vienna Würstelstand

No – and you already knew that, didn’t you, you cheeky little rascal? There’s simply no way to prove you really took that test today and if you took it correctly. We tried that fun party trick ourselves and it also didn’t work.

6. ‘You must be happy to be back.’

© Vienna Würstelstand

Yes, just as every other person who interacts with customers on a daily basis (and yes, there is a high level of sarcasm present in this line).

7. ‘You must have enjoyed your 8 months break.’

© Vienna Würstelstand | Marietta Dang

Yeah – financial uncertainty and having nothing to do for days on end must have been a blast.

8. ‘Can I have ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise on my Käsekrainer?’

© Vienna Würstelstand

What the? They’ve survived a pandemic to serve such abominations – we don’t think so!

9. ‘Have you forgotten how to serve?’

Ethiopian Food in Vienna: Café Lalibela
© Vienna Würstelstand

Maybe. Maybe they never knew. Maybe they’re new at the game. But has a person who asks this question forgotten social etiquette and how not to be a ass in public?

10. ‘Where did all the old staff go?’

© Vienna Würstelstand

We assume they got another job to not starve, or something. Just an assumption though.

11. ‘Your legs must hurt again.’

© Vienna Würstelstand

Who doesn’t enjoy it when strangers/ customers point out your pain.

12. ‘You don’t have to check me, I’ll give you my number either way.’

© Vienna Würstelstand

Oh, inappropriate flirting with the waiting staff – a classic.

13. ‘Have you missed me?’

© Vienna Würstelstand

No offense but – probably not.

Get content that you love in your inbox!

#nospam - only the good stuff that makes you smile and helps you make the most out of Vienna...and life!

We’re committed to your privacy. We will use the information you provide to us to contact you about our relevant content and services in the form of a newsletter. For more information, check out our Privacy Policy.