1. Karlsplatz – the underground labyrinth that has you trapped inside forever
In case you for some reason have never had the pleasure of wandering aimlessly around this highly confusing maze, panicking that you’re stuck in the matrix and this is your life now…(wow, that got really dark)…you’re not alone. It’s the sheer amount of different exits that makes it virtually impossible to find the one you need to leave the Karlsplatz U-Bahn station. Even experienced commuters still get lost there at times. Navigating through the Schönbrunn labyrinth is a piece of cake compared to this clusterfuck of a station.
Legend has it that there is a lost soul haunting the place at night who never made it out because they weren’t able to locate the correct exit. (Disclaimer: We may have completely made up this legend just now.)
2. Altes Landgut – is this the stairway to heaven?
Aside from being so far out in the sticks that it feels like you already entered Lower Austrian territory *shudder*, the escalators there are longer than the average life expectancy of a human in Vienna.
3. Stephansplatz – can’t decide what’s worse
It’s not only the hordes of people you’ll have to wrestle through at pretty much any time of day that make it so unpleasant, there’s also this smell. This smelly smell that always seems to hang in the air. Almost makes you miss wearing masks. Almost.
4. Schottentor – Karlsplatz junior
It may not be quite as disorienting as its big brother Karlsplatz, but it does have enough exits spread widely across to make it a worthy contender, especially if you are not one of the people commuting there on a daily basis.
5. Hauptbahnhof – the pilgrimage to your transfer
You really shouldn’t be arriving last minute when you need to transfer from the U-Bahn to a train leaving from Hauptbahnhof because the walk from the U-Bahn station to the actual platforms is a long-distance journey of biblical proportions. As in, you could read the entire bible in the time it takes to cross the great divide. They should maybe install a kind of rail link train there like at some airports so we don’t have to go on such a pilgrimage every time.
6. Floridsdorf – the frontier of civilisation
Well, what can we say, it’s Floridsdorf. And the U6. But exaggerated stereotypes aside, finding your connection to a tram, bus or S-Bahn is really confusing there. That, and the loads of people crossing through make it a station you’d just like to leave as soon as possible. Oh, and did we mention that it’s in Floridsdorf? Eww. (Just kidding Floridsdorf, we love you just as much as the other districts. Okay, almost.)